"Illumination.........."

”Shadows define the real. If I no longer see shadows as dark marks, as do the newly-sighted, then I see them as making some sort of sense of the light. They give the light distance. They put it in its place. They inform my eyes of my location here, here, O Israel, here in the world’s flawed sculpture, here in the flickering shade of the nothingness between me and the light”….Annie Dillliard

School is down to the nitty-gritty: four full weeks with a couple of days of fun and games tacked on at the end to celebrate the journey completed once again. A lot of reviewing taking place right now; and all staff are staying late for one hour tomorrow afternoon once the buses have departed, a yearly ritual wherein everyone goes over any new rules for final testing. I’ll be one-on-one with one of my boys, if nothing changes, the teacher opting for the fellow with anger issues and assigning me the lad who is more prone to vent his emotions through tearful lament. The job, from start to finish, is baby-sitting, for the most part, often questionable as to whether much is being accomplished; yet relationships are nurtured with these kids, a sense of worth in what you are doing, and a belief that it matters somehow, to me if to no one else. The old man turns seventy-two in October, but has signed up for another go next year, the future always uncertain, this moment, this hour enough in the long run… The author’s words, above, speak volumes to me. I find her perspective making more sense, though, when it’s turned around, me, rather than God, being “put it its place”, the shadow, if in front of me, indicating I’m going in the wrong direction. Even in facing the light and moving forward, however, the image is blurred, the Source, itself, enough to blind me if I try to capture it in my focus and a slew of other things between me and the light messing with my mind. So maybe it’s not so much that the shadows, the lack of understanding, make “sense” of Him as it is that they make me see my need of His warmth, His promise and confirmed assurance that yea, though I walk with a stagger and a stumble, He is there with me. He is with me each day, each hour, the sun that I orbit, the giver of Life……